A Heart of Flame
Dads and Mass Effect
- Dad: (out of the blue) So do Shepard and Garrus get married at the end of Mass Effect?
- Me: (blushing) No...
- Sister: NO, because Shepard dies and Garrus crash-lands on some deserted planet and STARVES TO DEATH.
- Dad: He starves?
- Me: Pretty much.
- Dad: Well, if Shepard's dead, couldn't he just eat her?
- Me and Sister: *coordinated headdesks*
Every time Admiral Xen shows up in ME 3, I instantly think of all the God Baby jokes.
And then I think, “wait, ME 3 had a God Baby of its own.”
Admiral Xen did it.
OH MY GOD, IS NO ONE FUCKING LISTENING?
All the people who are saying this crap are either oblivious to what is really going on, or just don’t care about the series.
Have fun sitting there with a derpy smile while you accept a bull ending. Let me give you a dead cat and call it your birthday present. You’ll take anything that’s given to you, right?
We never expected sunshine and butterflies. The entire series revolves around war. We’re not stupid. We wanted an ending that made sense. We wanted what we were made to believe - that our choices matter. We wanted closure.
Instead, we got a half-assed, rushed, pick-your-color-no-wait-that-won’t-matter-anyway ending that leaves us unfulfilled as hell. And all we have to run on is the idea that “Bioware has something up their sleeve. This isn’t the real ending. This isn’t!!!11!”
And the most disgusting part of it all is that we need goddamn DLC to know what really happens. Why is it okay that DLC is needed to conclude a story? That should NEVER be okay. It ISN’T.
Does no one get this? Seriously?
This is basically how I’m looking at it: virtually every time someone has a complaint about Mass Effect, someone else will inevitably pull out the “it’s just business” argument. Don’t like that they sexed up all the female characters and gave them outfits that would be ludicrous in combat situations? “Sex sells! It’s a business! Get over it!” Don’t like day one DLC? “How can you blame BioWare for wanting to make extra money? They’re a company! That’s their purpose!” Don’t like the removing of RPG elements in order to make way for more shooter combat? “Hardcore shooter fans are where the market is! It’s just business!”
So if that’s the way it is, and “it’s just business,” then why the heck shouldn’t I have the right to complain as a paying consumer? If I dropped a big wad of cash on a vacuum cleaner, and took it home and found out that it just spread the dirt around my house instead of sucking it up, no one would call me “whiny and entitled” if I demanded my money back.
I’m not pissed because the ending was depressing, I’m pissed because I had no say whatsoever in the matter, even though BioWare told me I would. The product I spent eighty bucks on didn’t perform as advertised. Who likes being lied to?
Agreed, however you also have to consider that I’m sure EA is going to pump out a crapload of DLC for this game. You just know there’s going to be a Happy Ending DLC, or at the very least a Road To Recovery DLC.
EXAAAAAACTLY. I was thinking about this earlier. BioWare’s already said that there’s going to be a DLC plan for ME3 like there was for ME2. And, I mean, of course they’re going to try to wring us for all we’re worth. People just need to open up their minds a little. Accept bleak science fiction into your heart. Because it’s fucking beautiful.
Accept bleak science fiction into your heart.
At first I went “nooooo”
And then I remembered that DS9 is my favorite Star Trek series.
HA HA, WELP.
Argh, trying to put this under a cut and it’s not working. Mass Effect 3 ENDING SPOILERS ahead.
My problem isn’t with the bleakness of the ending. My problem is with the lack of other options. I would be perfectly fine with a bleak ending if something a little less dark were also available, like in Dragon Age: Origins. BioWare has always trumpeted the importance of player choice in their stories (especially in ME 3, given that it’s the last game in the trilogy and thus choices no longer have to carry over), but when the exact same grimdark thing happens no matter what decisions the player makes? BioWare’s not putting their money where their mouth is. And I don’t appreciate being lied to.
So, holier-than-thou BioWare apologism can take a hike. I’ve been too invested in these characters for too long to just shrug and twiddle my thumbs at this kind of bullshit ending.